How often do you focus on the other person, comparing yourself and coming up short? How often do you think “oh she’s thinner, taller, has better hair, style, is smarter, funnier, calmer…” and the list goes on.
As an improviser for the past 17 years, I have been studying the art of living and responding in the moment. When you are there, when you are exactly present, it is by far the best high one can experience. Getting to that moment is not an easy task, and it is a daily practice.
When it does happen, you feel, as my grandmother would say, right as rain. You are, and right then you are perfect. This week a friend of mine quoted from one of her favorite books “The world was not given to you. You were given to the world.” So very true, and yet how seldom do we feel like we are the gift? We ARE! You are the only one of you, so as we tell our children “why not just be you?”. Stop comparing, and every time you feel the urge to do so, focus on the things you love about you. Make a list of all the wonderful things you do, you are, and you have. When you find yourself feeling inadequate by comparison, focus on two fantastic things about you! Really focus on these points. Walk, talk, and feel how awesome it is to B U!
It is a very liberating feeling to fully accept who you are. Once you do accept your U-ness, anything is possible! And on the days that you can’t quite B U, go ahead and pretend to B that Jones that you’re comparing yourself to. Instead of wanting to B them, just take their best attributes and B them, act as them. They won’t mind, heck they won’t even know.
Every so often, during the time I owned ComedySportz Improv Theatre in Richmond VA, I wasn’t feeling funny. The worries and woes of the business sucked my funny dry. I couldn’t muster a smile, let alone a hearty haha! And yet, the show still had to go on, and I had a back up plan!
When that happened, just before I walked thru the door and onto the stage, I would B the Jones! I would borrow the personality and characteristics of my favorite female improv hereos. I would be Lauren, Shannon, Kat, Dianah, Steph, Mia, Tara. Sometimes, I had to combine a couple. Either way, when I did – POW! The energy was there, and it was so much better than drinking a Red Bull.
In reality, borrowing the attributes of these ladies got me out of my shell or funk. Once out, I was glad to be exactly where I was, and where I was was actually being ME.